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The Spidra
About 'The Spidra' That were tha biggest foycking spiduh I ever did seen Says Barry, having cleaned out The Gutter of Putrid Body Parts. It were tha size of mah palm so's I crushed it! Ah crushed it an it done died Seconds later, a low wooing sound is thundered throughout The Mansions Grounds. What sounded like tumbling rocks and splattering earth followed. Barry turns around almost in a state of desperation and sweat jumps from his brow as if diving for the freedom he will shortly not have. His face now shining and his pube-like beard ruffled, his eyes look down from the ladder. Hand now engulfed in shit from the gutter he sees something that fear itself couldn't handle. Created by scientist B.I.G Rib-Cage Carcass and co. is The Spidra. A fossil found in the 1300's of the rare colossal spider Yetkins-12-Legs had been frozen in time and finally used to create a new breed of creature. Not much had to be performed in doing this - but the method of creating such better creatures - The Mansion has its twist. -The baby Yetkins is the size of a common football (5 minutes old) and has been compared to grow to the size of a common football field, lengthways vertical and horizontal. The Spidra has been infused with Mikes blood which has been proven to contain it's own steroid-like substance making anything that is contaminated with it continuously grow. Muscles are x10 in size and anger levels are dramatically increased. Due to the size of The Spidra we have to feed it BULK amounts of corpses from The Pits. Lately, we've been struggling to actually give it enough food and therefore, a catastrophe happened: What Barry Did. ---------- Spidra Yetkins had unearthed having received the signal that her baby had been murdered. Spidra, dashing with its 12 hairy, black and strong spindling legs had mounted the whole of The Mansion - wrapping it in a flurry of web within seconds. The Mansion had lost all of its oxygen supply, meaning we had to activate Yellow Alert. Yellow Alert was our last-call of mechanisms - we release a potent gas that sprays from the Courtyard and sits heavy in the air for 10 minutes maximum. The gas is so potent it melts and destroys anything in the area. Spidra however is immune to such gases yet hates the smell and thus retreats back to its home. Barry however, is not. He was found a mile from The Mansion having been batted by Yetkins. Cascaded in thick masses of web and dripping with a pungent stench, we had Barry sectioned and operated on. Having spent 13 hours in Operation Room #7 we had discovered that Spidra had laid its eggs in Barrys face. His head now distorted and imploding we could only sit and wait for them to hatch. The story has yet to evolve as we are currently setting up what could be Barry's Funeral. We have Barry's last words on tape: Ah dun neva go kill what here spiduh. Don't yall eva go kill what here spiders He repeats this almost 17 times, face trembling and tears streaming. The Spidra is now sleeping below grounds. We have a feeding chemical and a sleeping chemical which keeps it at bay - but dare it ever happen: we are ready for war.